Sunday, October 30, 2011

again. fall into the same mudhole.

hi, it's me.. the girl you saw in a an awful look one day at the canteen.
yes i know it was just like almost 7 months ago but.. you know what? i still got stucked in the same situation.
i've ever survived it, almost, but i don't know there's always something that hit me back again to that same story.
now i fall again, i dont even know how many times i've been. i don't count.

i feel something that have to be saved after all this far.
i know it's been too ridiculous to save this relationship. it won't work.
but friendship is always worth to to be saved, at least in my opinion.
this may sounds over.
but this friendship has brought us, oh well, me, at least, too deep.
how deep?
can't explain it. i think it's as deep as how you're getting more and more meaningful to me in my life.
i'm getting used to that stupid jokes, that awful anger, that beautiful things we talked, that sweet advices and supports,oh god this is too much to write.. hahaha
how all of those stuffs has been becoming one of the most important life in my life.
once, i've tried, yes i know i made it, but it doesn't last long.. and don't forget it, get it bold and italicized, it should be end in a good and deep conversation ended with supports and smiles..
that's my bad, i think, i'm just too over in ending things beautifully.

now that i've fallen into the same situation for several times, i still feel that empty.
especially when it turns into some kind of boredom
i feel like im talking to a stranger.
there's no cheerful texts, good conversations, sharing things that have been done in a day, and giving supports anymore.
really not a friendly thing.

i might be stupid for telling this, but should i doing the same thing?
i feel like i'm saving a non-sense.
im saving thing of a two person, but im fighting alone. one person.

now let me see if you still stand for this.
i'll appreciate it. a lot.
no lie. seriously, i miss you and all of those things above.
it's you. everything.
i need it. it's you.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

this is difficult, dude! haha

have you ever felt how hard is keeping stuff or feeling by yourself? or how hard does it feel when you have to force yourself to realize the condition or situation you face? it feels like you're going to blown up keeping stuff you just cant stand to keep, right?
okay right, that's stupid hahaha
i know it's been sooooo hard keeping how you really miss someone you love, or how you should hold yourself in saying how you really want your name to be put in his acknowledgment page thesis hahahha
at the same time you probably should force yourself to realize you position and the situation you face with him.. that's soooo hard you know.. you probably should do few ridiculous things to get yourself forget it, like sneaking to the kitchen and stealing food from the fridge.. hahaha

anyway, im just blubbering mumbling this stupid thing :p
SELAMAT HARI BLOG NASIONAL!!! :)
semoga eksistensi bloggers bisa diakui dan tetap update blog nya dengan tulisan2 yang bagus yaaa teman-temaann :D

Saturday, October 22, 2011

this made me extremely confident :)

"This is the real you, right? Smart. Bespestacled. Who wouldn't wanna see that?" (Flint Lockwood, Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs)





*ps. flint was just like you, capt.. you always says wearing glasses are fine.. and beautiful. thanks, capt :)